I’ve never found the words to articulate how I’ve felt about losing so many of my friends to motherhood - you said it perfectly!
I never wanted kids and don’t have them. I didn’t think that decision would lock me out of social circles. Worse was hanging out with my old friends. Their identities were just gone.
It’s not all of my mom friends, like you said, but it’s MOST of them.
@lindsay - thank you!! it is incredible how a decision you *didn't* make can change so much about your life. I really mourn the brilliant, funny minds of friends I've lost
Love this, B. I have two kids and have worked hard to 'keep it real' in conversations and within my online content about it being the hardest, messiest, least tidy thing ever ever ever. I felt a lot of isolation in my early parenting years, when moms around me would just sort of cutely laugh off kid-induced stress or chaos as some flippant thing, when the stress I experienced was often mind-numbing and quite severe and tilted my equilibrium in every way. I will never ever be someone who describes parenting as 'a fairytale' or my kids as 'angels.' It is the WILD WEST over here. That said--I also never want to take for granted that I had kids rather easily (the getting pregnant and birthing them part, NOT the raising them part...) and I have deep empathy for people who struggle in such overwhelming, endless ways trying to become parents. So...it's complicated, to say the least. But I don't think these pinterest-perfect moms are helping anyone. All that to say--I hear everything you're saying. I am grateful to be a mother to my wild boys I deeply love, AND I will fight to preserve other parts of my life and identity that I hold dear. Thank you for writing and sharing this. <3
Perfectly said! It’s all so complicated, there is so much nuance and gray area, because… well… it’s life? I so appreciate the people like you who can be real about it and embrace all the other facets of their like they worked so hard for. Thank you for sharing Beth 🤗
Loved this, thank you for sharing your experience. It’s so needed.
The mom club is such a scam. Even on the “inside,” there is so much isolation—exclusive subgroups, never-ending judgment. When I was a new mom, trying to hang onto my identity felt like holding onto half a pool noodle while being pulled under, fighting the current. I’ve had to fight so hard for my hobbies, passions, and aspirations to survive motherhood, and especially in the beginning, there was a lot of guilt that came with that. It’s all so messy and complicated. I love being a mom, but it’s the least interesting thing about me. I think as women and as humans there is so much depth and connection to be found if we can just stop sorting ourselves into these increasingly small and tidy boxes.
Super powerful story - thank you for sharing.
thank you for reading Sam!
I’ve never found the words to articulate how I’ve felt about losing so many of my friends to motherhood - you said it perfectly!
I never wanted kids and don’t have them. I didn’t think that decision would lock me out of social circles. Worse was hanging out with my old friends. Their identities were just gone.
It’s not all of my mom friends, like you said, but it’s MOST of them.
I’m with you.
@lindsay - thank you!! it is incredible how a decision you *didn't* make can change so much about your life. I really mourn the brilliant, funny minds of friends I've lost
Love this, B. I have two kids and have worked hard to 'keep it real' in conversations and within my online content about it being the hardest, messiest, least tidy thing ever ever ever. I felt a lot of isolation in my early parenting years, when moms around me would just sort of cutely laugh off kid-induced stress or chaos as some flippant thing, when the stress I experienced was often mind-numbing and quite severe and tilted my equilibrium in every way. I will never ever be someone who describes parenting as 'a fairytale' or my kids as 'angels.' It is the WILD WEST over here. That said--I also never want to take for granted that I had kids rather easily (the getting pregnant and birthing them part, NOT the raising them part...) and I have deep empathy for people who struggle in such overwhelming, endless ways trying to become parents. So...it's complicated, to say the least. But I don't think these pinterest-perfect moms are helping anyone. All that to say--I hear everything you're saying. I am grateful to be a mother to my wild boys I deeply love, AND I will fight to preserve other parts of my life and identity that I hold dear. Thank you for writing and sharing this. <3
Perfectly said! It’s all so complicated, there is so much nuance and gray area, because… well… it’s life? I so appreciate the people like you who can be real about it and embrace all the other facets of their like they worked so hard for. Thank you for sharing Beth 🤗
Loved this, thank you for sharing your experience. It’s so needed.
The mom club is such a scam. Even on the “inside,” there is so much isolation—exclusive subgroups, never-ending judgment. When I was a new mom, trying to hang onto my identity felt like holding onto half a pool noodle while being pulled under, fighting the current. I’ve had to fight so hard for my hobbies, passions, and aspirations to survive motherhood, and especially in the beginning, there was a lot of guilt that came with that. It’s all so messy and complicated. I love being a mom, but it’s the least interesting thing about me. I think as women and as humans there is so much depth and connection to be found if we can just stop sorting ourselves into these increasingly small and tidy boxes.