As a retired teacher who was a working mom of two some advise… don’t be so hard on yourselves. I was I felt like I had to be supermom all of the time . Looking back I wish I would have not been so hard on myself. I’m sure you are all doing better than you think… no such thing as the perfect mom… stay off of all the mom groups on social media it just makes you feel alittle inadequate.. you are doing a great job I just know it!!
Thank you for sharing this. And thank you to your friend for writing it. Motherhood—the wishing for it, the feeling stuck in it, the reminiscing of it, and yes, sometimes, for many, even if only fleeting, the regretting of it—can feel so messy and all-consuming. It’s complex, so personal and yet universal in a lot of ways. I related to a lot here. I was wholly, completely consumed with motherhood for years, it felt like I was a shell of a human. Then I began clinging to newly reclaimed hobbies for dear life, because it felt like the only way back to myself. Now, my kids are both solidly in pre-teen/teen territory, their needs have changed, and so have mine. I was just chatting with my family yesterday about possibly pausing my membership to a pottery studio, because the long commute and the current demands of my life make it hard for me to attend often enough to justify the cost. My eldest was horrified. “You can’t QUIT POTTERY!!” The kids know that for a few years, pottery was the only thing keeping my head above water. We talked openly about how this was something just for me, because I needed it. But now the current arrangement isn’t serving me in the same ways, and it may make sense to pause. Three years ago I would’ve felt panicked at the thought, like I’m letting my identity slip away again. But now I feel more secure in who I am as a mother who is also a creative person. I’ve learned to embrace the ebb and flow of things in both roles. But the figuring out is always messy. And it’s different for everyone. If we can all talk more openly about it, hopefully it will feel less isolating, no matter which stage we find ourselves in.
As a retired teacher who was a working mom of two some advise… don’t be so hard on yourselves. I was I felt like I had to be supermom all of the time . Looking back I wish I would have not been so hard on myself. I’m sure you are all doing better than you think… no such thing as the perfect mom… stay off of all the mom groups on social media it just makes you feel alittle inadequate.. you are doing a great job I just know it!!
Thank you for sharing this. And thank you to your friend for writing it. Motherhood—the wishing for it, the feeling stuck in it, the reminiscing of it, and yes, sometimes, for many, even if only fleeting, the regretting of it—can feel so messy and all-consuming. It’s complex, so personal and yet universal in a lot of ways. I related to a lot here. I was wholly, completely consumed with motherhood for years, it felt like I was a shell of a human. Then I began clinging to newly reclaimed hobbies for dear life, because it felt like the only way back to myself. Now, my kids are both solidly in pre-teen/teen territory, their needs have changed, and so have mine. I was just chatting with my family yesterday about possibly pausing my membership to a pottery studio, because the long commute and the current demands of my life make it hard for me to attend often enough to justify the cost. My eldest was horrified. “You can’t QUIT POTTERY!!” The kids know that for a few years, pottery was the only thing keeping my head above water. We talked openly about how this was something just for me, because I needed it. But now the current arrangement isn’t serving me in the same ways, and it may make sense to pause. Three years ago I would’ve felt panicked at the thought, like I’m letting my identity slip away again. But now I feel more secure in who I am as a mother who is also a creative person. I’ve learned to embrace the ebb and flow of things in both roles. But the figuring out is always messy. And it’s different for everyone. If we can all talk more openly about it, hopefully it will feel less isolating, no matter which stage we find ourselves in.